How I Became Allergic to Running With Cliques

20 Aug

So I’m giving you guys all of my business.

I think it’s the rawest way to tell a story.

Cut no corners.

Tell it straight like it is.

First of all – friends are needed. They’re necessary.

Like additives to life – rose petals to a flower.

They strengthen us and they make life even more beautiful than it is. This has been proven. Right? Why not? Sometimes knowing you have people who really truly love you – in my opinion – is what helps us wake up each day. We crave love – support – and companionship.

Its our right.
It’s what we like.

It’s what we crave.

Nothing wrong with that.

But as women we go thru so many “growing up phases” right? We’re little girls who go from wearing the most annoying ponytail hair designs to that first graduation of wearing our hair down – on our shoulders. And we feel new right? Almost like a right to passage.

We leave that little girl stage and we’re on to the next – teenage stage. Hair appointments and greater “womanhood” desires. We are leaving one stage for another.

 Anyways y’all get the picture.

As females we are constantly growing and one thing I learned growing up is that the company of so many – can be detrimental to where I wanna end up in life.

I think many of us think about the now – the partying – the fun – the joy – but A LOT of us don’t understand how much we’re stunting our growth with the immature squabbles over boys – he said she said arguments with other girls – fighting – etc. It’s almost like we go backwards in “stages of womanhood”.

I was fighting at 9 years old. Even knocking boys out – because MY baby brothers werent big enough to fight their battles.

To be fighting at 29 years old saying NOTHING about growth.

It only says that I’m on the same sh+t I was when I was 9. How cute is that? How “boss b+tch”  is that? I wasn’t calling any shots at 9.

So anyways. Here is my story. ALL of my business.

One day I found out I’d be giving birth to a child  BUT the thing was –  I had criminal charges under my belt, probation fees, hell even HOUSE arrest to get rid of? Yes – I was 9 months pregnant with a monitor on my leg – because of prior mistakes I’d made. I had run the streets since I was 16 years old. rebellious and bucking at whatever. If there was any beef – my choice of squashing it was to be at a chick’s front door. Ready to fight.

Ha.

You can believe that I’m sure. I was hood and NO good to anybody. Yuck.

I was a mess.

And my tall mean probation officer stared me in my face when I was only 3 months pregnant and told me – “I can’t deal with you. You aren’t abiding by your probationary guidelines – because you are pregnant we will not lock you up but you will wear this ankle bracelet for 6 months. You also will get another P.O. who will not play any games with you as well. And, man, she wasn’t lying.

Huh? Me? My daughter’s dad had just gave me his second car. I was like 20 years old. Nooooo. Not house arrest? What the fck am I supposed to do in this house? Alone. Just me.

I was used to going. I had girlfriends to visit. Mall shopping to do for my baby. House arrest? Really.

Well. I had to endure 6 months of only leaving the house on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Right and my biggest point of excitement was going to feed my face somewhere besides my kitchen. My daughters dad would work and run the streets and I was cooped up in our house – watching re-run Lifetime movies and worrying my mother to death over the phone.

It was the worse. I finally got over it though –  and I was EXTREMELY READY to figure life out. After all the last 6 months of my life consisted of reading magazines, books, and watching t.v. – waiting on my boyfriend to return home so I could have company.

My child would be born in only a few weeks and I had nothing but a high school diploma and fresh charges on my record.

VERY FRESH charges.

Jobs were denying me left and right. Every application I was filling out was denied. I was literally sick and fed up with life. But ever since I had laid down on that bed and pushed out that 7’8ounce baby girl – I had in my mind – I couldn’t give up.

No matter how many doors slammed in my face. I had to keep going. I couldn’t stop trying.

Eventually all of my conversations turned into – what I want to be – when I wanted to go back to school – how much I loved my daughter – how I needed to plan for the future. All of those I “ran” with in the streets would call me – and I was suddenly bored with “what she did and what he said and when”. Out of nowhere. I had NO room to think about that. My child would be here. She was going to need stuff, and even though her daddy would provide most of it – I still wanted to assist him. This was my first-born. I needed to be able as well. So I started my mission.

In fact, I was watching the caller ID – while ON the phone with my gossiping “friends” – hoping that the last job I faxed a resume to would be calling me back.

My attention was elsewhere.

There was an involuntary shift of desire – that changing my perception on life allowed to happen. I didn’t ask God for it. I simply began chasing MORE out of life – than the happenings of people up and down a street.

Immediately, AMAZING things began to happen. I overcame my issues with not being able to find work due to my criminal mishaps – and nailed a position that I would soon love to – and keep – and receive lifelong benefits from.

I was allergic.

Allergic to being included in a group of women or “girls” I should say – who had nothing on their minds. I became itchy at the thought of thinking about foolishness and ignoring my future. Why? Because my child needed me.

Somebody counted on me.

Somebody needed me more than I needed them. I just couldn’t focus on the things I used to focus on.

I spent a couple of nights in jail before – I couldn’t stomach the thought of going to jail and leaving my newborn baby out here with whomever. I couldn’t see it. Every risk I used to take before left my mind for good.

My advice.

Think about all good of your future. Plan things. Explore things. Live your life – by LIVING. Do not live your life by – reliving things that happened yesterday – in YOUR life – their life – her life – or his life. We spend so much time worrying about whats happening with others – and right underneath our feet – our own life is swept away.

Time is life spent.

Life is only given once.

Love who loves you back. Keep REAL important friendships close. Especially the ones that move WITH you when you when you choose growth.

Let the ones that do not move with you – cancel themselves out.

The only clique you need is You, Yourself, and You.

Become allergic. Get things done. And most importantly – save “life” time for those who truly have your interest at best heart.

-Signed

No Longer Held Back By My Past

5 Types Of Women Its Okay For A Man To Leave And Never Return To

6 Aug

This world is so man-driven – that in every relationship situation we like ALWAYS assume its the dude’s fault.

Men NEVER catch a break – but PERSONALLY I don’t believe that ANY human being should force themselves to co-exist with someone who doesn’t fulfill them completely.
If this means, a man must leave a woman to be happy then that is exactly what I mean. A man who has made no marriage commitment – in my eyes – is not obligated to STAY with any woman.

Never.

1 kid.

3 dogs.

I don’t care.

You are not obligated.

This is why. Every single human being makes mistakes – including commitment. No one is exempt, and just because he’s MAN – who once held the glue of a household together – he is not obligated to soak in his own self provoked torture – by waking up in a household – or returning to a relationship – day after day that is

Draining – complaining – aggravating – non-lucrative – and basically held together by threads of bullsh+t.

I have a daughter .

But

IF I HAD A SON

I’d keep it straight up with him. Peace of mind is priceless. You guard yours like a treasure. Once you lose it you lose you.

There are women in this world who do not deserve your love.

There are women in this world who will try to lay guilt on you to obligate your love to them.

People don’t talk about it – because it’s not expected for a man to dish out something as – I GUESS – emotional as this.

Just leave it to my gangsta-feminine fingers right?

5 Woman That It’s Perfectly Okay That You Leave Alone

  1. The One Who Doesn’t Respect Your Upbringing – So many females are like this. I know them. I’ve worked with them. I’ve met them. I’ve been out with them. This female isn’t okay with what her mate comes from – so you’ll even see mini – attempts of her altering his thinking. Now, its nothing wrong with “upgrading” a man’s way of thinking in a way – but there is a kind – more caring way to do it. A woman who is shoving another perception into your mind – is a woman who doesn’t respect how you – see things. “No baby, we should do it like this. No, I was taught it goes like this. No, if we do it that way it won’t be right. ” Certain things to that effect may be said. These are things you need to notice off the bat. HOW I SEE IT – this type of long-term relationship with a person will produce many arguments down the long run. A person who isn’t comfortable with the beliefs YOU were given when raised – will keep doing-saying things that will build on your angry side. 
  2. The Hoe – Simply put. Straight up. For a MAN – any female who cheats on you with another man – during the time you all were supposedly perfectly happy – LEAVE HER. ASAP – Collect your $200 at Go and get the fck on. Trust me on this. Any woman who can fake being happy with you in a relationship – you do nothing wrong to her – and she fcks another man – has absolutely no feeling for you brother. Women are emotional creatures – we do have heavy consciences. A HAPPY woman – of no suspicion will keep her vagina to herself – and only share it with the man she is with. No exceptions. Get rid of her, before you catch something you can’t get rid of – foreal.
  3. The Verbal Abuser – “Damn, do you do anything right?”  – “Damn, can you buy me this?” “Can you buy me that?” – “Why you have to wear that?” – “You ain’t sh+t” – “Your mama ain’t sh+t” – “Go get me this.”  – “Go get me that.” – “You are so childish/stupid/annoying.” Ugh. First of all any man with genitals should have to take this seat. Co-existing with an angry woman is a sure way to deplete your self-esteem, without even knowing it. She’ll say things that eventually you will start to believe – or things that will make you leave home to get the things you should be getting inside of the home. Until she gets her anger together you take a hiatus. You cannot be the determined – focused – stressLESS man you need to be around chaos in  your home. If there is no – major responsibility – tying you to this woman – PLEASE go . No child? Yet? RUN!
  4. The Lazy Good For Nothing Woman – Today’s woman is a go getter – because nothing is promised. If by chance you ended up with a woman who has no fire burning inside of her to make the life you both have better – you have a major problem. You should also reference my blog title “How Dating A Lazy Broke B+tch Saves Lives” (in the archives). You CANNOT afford to co-exist with a woman who doesn’t believe in making her own money. I mean if she’s filthy rich – sitting on money – dropped down from inheritance – then by all means – she may afford to be lazy. But a woman completely depending on you for everything will become stressful – heavy – and annoying. Then most importantly – you could risk knocking down whatever success empire you’ve built – if you for once fall short of being able to hold her down. You don’t deserve that. You work too hard and you deserve a woman who has her own. Point blank period. It’s perfectly okay to dip on this type of woman when you see fit.
  5. The “Can’t Think For Herself” Type – Friend always in y’all business because SHE can’t form her own conclusions – so she goes to a friend to get advice – not giving an F about exposing the personal situations y’all go through. Now I’m not saying that its NEVER okay for females to go to her friends for advice on issues – but this type of female keeps her friend updated on EVERY UP and DOWN of her relationship. There is no privacy. You are always being judged because your business is in the streets. This is not only harmful to the relationship – its ghetto as all out. No man’s relationship issues belong in the streets. Not one. This type of woman is always consulting with someone else on how SHE should feel about you – her mother – her father – her brother – best friend – coworker – whomever can give her some sound advice – she’s all ears. This woman represents a spineless kind. One whose weak when she must be strong. You as a man can’t build up her confidence – she must find it on her own. I say its fine to take a break until her attitude comes full circle, and if it doesn’t come full circle – go on about your life.

I’m mean right? Nah just realistic. Hopefully my ladies are ready for the next blog – cause I tell you the same types of things. You only live once. Do not waste your days on this planet trying to shape and form the attitudes of adults. Those have been created – long before you. It will take giant strength to change them – and even with all of the strength given – the change is not guaranteed.

Live LIFE smart.

Toodles!

7 Things Under $20 – That You Can Do To Strengthen Your Brand

26 Jul

Hi guys! Let me reintroduce myself.

I’m a single black female mother of one – full-time worker for the government (so you know Ion make much money – SELF published author (meaning I formed my own budget to publish my own work – no deal was made) – and I’ve sold a few thousand novels – ebooks in the past 3 years.

YEP.

And I started out with $0.

That’s right .

0$

Now, I know you’re looking at my blog post saying – “Tuh what’s a few thousand books sold when there are authors who are selling TONS of books – under large publishing houses – much better than you.”

That’s’ true. I will not argue that.

And I even thought the same thing to myself until I did my math.

I got 100% of my own profit, and I was able to do with it as I pleased. I was able to form other ways to market my name – author name – as a brand. Now for a single mother of one – working for small money of the government – cushioned by some great blessings of benefits – I BELIEVE I DO DAMN WELL WITH ESTABLISHING MY BRAND NAME.

Still learning. Because  that’s true leaders to – become open to learn – for a lifetime.

I mean some self published “authors” don’t survive their FIRST book. Me? Well I’m on my third with a fourth being dabbled with on the nights I ‘ want to add to my third. Weird I know.

Now before I give you some tips let me just tell you what I managed to do while strengthening my brand name without BARELY spending a dime.

1. I self published 2 books and sold a few thousand copies of them total.

2. I nailed a news article in my city’s largest news media/source the N&O only 4 MONTHS after my first book release.

3. I got head librarian permission to do  signings – events for me in my hometown by simply telling them my story.

4. I started a small non-profit project for kids called “Own Your Dream” which held a series events for children who come from areas of poverty as myself – which was included IN the news article written on myself (and team partner for Own  Your Dream). We were able to get some of the kids music videos shot as well as school supplies for the year.

5. I started a state popular online radio show – called Chocolate Girl 

 which didn’t work out after a while but during its 30 some episodes – housed HUGE celebrity guests for interviews. I mean – who even knew real celebs would BITE on blog radio?

6. I’ve gotten a couple of radio station interviews and was able to attend an EXCLUSIVE self publishing workshop with a GURU of publishing and C.E.O. of one the largest publishing houses.

7. Ive gotten TONS of hosting gigs – including a traveling hosting gig with a powerful play group called “RFEP Entertainment” – currently in their 5th season of “Bang No More” a play against gang violence.

8. I’ve gotten TONS of writing gigs – hired by local artists in my area and outside of my state to get things written up for them – press releases and bios.

9. I’ve been asked – and accepted to write for a POWER MEDIA magazine called “The Session Magazine” — home based out of Raleigh, N.C. – simply for sharing my crazy blog posts via social sites like twitter.

10. I’ve been able to house an account for my 9 year olds – which gets royalty money of e-copies downloaded on my books dumped into it quarterly without even thinking about it.

ALL BECAUSE OF ONE THING – A LOUD BRAND

NO MONEY! NO MONEY SPENT! JUST SOCIAL NETWORK LOUD ME AND STRATEGY.

So here is the list you must copy and paste and remember.

7 ways to strengthen your brand without spending over $20

1. Every artist needs a WEB home – So, go to wordpress.com. NAIL your domain name – preferably if you’re a writer – your FULL NAME – first and last. (adjusting this one myself). Find the domain and its availability and drop the (wordpress.com) from the end for only $18 per year. Use this blog space to talk to your target audience. I don’t give a damn what you tell them – just keep your dialogue with them consistent. To be relevant you must be around.

2. Make a Facebook – FAN PAGE only – FREE : Now when I started Facebook was actually not a nuisance and a place you could successfully social network – but NOW you’ll probably only need a fan page. If you have a personal page – don’t use that. Use your fan page – and keep it active. Meaning – make sure you visit it at least 3 times per week. Stay connected with your Facebook crowd.

3. Make a Twitter page – and schedule your tweets pertaining to your brand on hootesuite.com. – FREE – It’s not necessary that at the beginning you STAY on social networks all day – just tweeting. Hootesuite.com will make it easy for your to schedule your brand tweets – and it will do the tweeting for you while you actually work. Say original things! Build your artist brand by being you!

4. Go out into your city and cities where your target audience occupies and MEET people. If you’re spending more than 20$ to get into the BEST networking events then you’re probably not in the correct events. IN FACT – I did my research and noticed that the best – business networking events – I attended were well under $20 and at reasonable times. & I’m not talking HUGE events like Women’s Empowerment (if you can afford to go to these go for inspiration) but small networking events may be effective as well. Sometimes even more effective because the smaller the crowd – the more detailed a conversation could get with an important business connect.  Anyways – put your best face forward – pass out some business cards and form relationships with people who inspire and may be able to help you. Wont cost you much at all!

5. Schedule some meetings with some people in your area who have VOICE – to get you media or radio  representation. Find a way to reach them – more than likely a social network – and invite them to lunch. Just let them know you want to share with them whatever it is you’re doing and network a little bit. This is a CHARM way of getting the  necessary attention you need from DJs- radio hosts – etc. Most people love charm and they can’t run from it! lol

6. Generate an email – update – newsletter of some sort to connect with your peers, network, and other common artists. This will give you a consistent form of  connection – communication with those who will more than likely mention your name – because you’ll be fresh in their minds. Don’t be worrisome with email blasts – but consistent. Sometimes just a simple – update on where you are with your project could help strengthen your brand.

7. Stay away from everything – that doesn’t inspire. In other words, if you can’t gain inspiration from THEM or THAT PLACE – don’t go around them and don’t frequent that venue. Surround yourself with what you want to be eventually and your mind will adapt into that way of thinking. This is a FREE service, but you must have determination to change. Drop all zeros and pick up new heroes. The end.

 

Follow ALL or SOME of these strategies and consider your brand – strengthening IN PROGRESS – stay consistent with these tips and then check your brand 6 months from now. It will have grown. And if it doesn’t then you email me and tell me what I listed wrong at authorchakara@gmail.com.

People helped me, and I’m all about spreading the things I learned about to others. No, I don’t consider myself ALL KNOWING, but I KNOW SOMETHING.

You are welcome. Hope this helps!!

Blame Social Networks & The Anxious Crave of New Trends For The Quality Of Hip Hop

7 Jun

From Myspace to Facebook….now Facebook to Twitter — trends are moving at the speed of rocket ships. Everyone wants to be put on something new, only to dish something “old” – so to say. But what’s “old”? Is it the crazy creative music video that dropped  yesterday, or the hot album leak that dropped two hours ago?

Social networks like Twitter have every bit of the blame to the anxiety of hip hop fans, for “something new” and “something exciting”. Only problem is, today’s new hip hop fans desire  for the “next new trend” day after day, has made music artists put out “short-lived music”.

Let me give you my definition of “hit music” – it’s a track put together only to catch the attention of a fan – it doesn’t really bring much knowledge to the table – it only feeds the artists momentary crave. Now “classic hit music” has longevity to it. Don’t get the two confused. It takes a well thought out production paired with an excellent choice of lyrics to pull off “classic hit music”. Only a few are capable of that it seems.

Twitter, one of the largest social networks shows us that. I’ll even jump a hoop to compare “celebrity deaths” — all it took was for another celebrity to pass away for the entire twitter world to forget about mourning over Whitney’s death. What about “world injustice issues”. We see the community anger of “Trayvon Martin’s” death slowly depleting in size.

Same damn thing. So much music is being presented to large social networks, throughout different times of the day, that the fans are constantly “reprogramming” their minds to take in something new and excited – up until the next new thing arrives.

You take an artist who puts out something magical – music wise – and how he feels the next week when his competitors of the same genre steals his “glory” by releasing their “magical music”. His fans have forgotten about that magic he created – well maybe not all of them but definitely a huge proportion of them. So what does he do? He goes right back to the drawing board to create something else. He even becomes anxious, because holding on to fan base is detrimental – and sometimes all of it will fall through the cracks of being inconsistent with music release.

Now, I am not stating that every artist does away with that “fire single” simply because his fans are “on to the next artist” – but I’m positive that this anxiety for “new music/trends” has a lot to do with the influx of “one hitter quitter” artists. The success seems way to easy to get. Make a catchy song – with a catchy hook – and a catchy beat and get it in the right hands. It could become viral, and well, that’s all people need to get a check. Right?

We are slowly coming out of a recession – and as the famous Jeezy says it: “It’s a recession, everybody broke.” Social networks such as twitter and Facebook, make it easy for any “Mr. Nobody” to become famous over a period of viral retweets. If  its something NEW – worth talking about – then people latch on to it.

The quality of REAL music – especially hip hop – is deteriorating right along with the impatient social network driven audience – most are shopping their music to. Social networks have influenced the “anxious crave of something new”. Anything. Music – fashion – reality show business – sex tapes – athletes – video vixen – porn stars. Whatever. “Just to say n+gga you aint up on dis” (says Kanye). Viral tweets can happen over seconds and before you know it – the entire country is up on things. So, it makes it incredibly hard to always be “up on something newer” than what others are on.

My advice to the audience who LOVE real music – in whatever genre you please : Be loyal fans to those you support. Hold on to their precious moments of great work. Re-live over and over the musical experience they provide by giving you new music projects. We as fans, MAKE classic material. The artist can only release it. Our love and appreciation for something great – makes classic. Lets not be so anxious for the new next thing – but be supportive, loyal, and caring of that hard work put in on the “old” things.

hopefully this made sense to you. Comments are definitely welcome.

xoxo

 

 

50 Things Black Women Think About OnThe First Date But Will Never Admit

6 Jun
  1. Should I order a salad?
  2. I wonder how much he’s going to tip this waitress.
  3. Damn he’s fine.
  4. A phone call? In the middle of dinner? Oh hell nawl.
  5. I could so see myself having sex with him – but not yet.
  6. I wonder if he REALLY has a girlfriend on the side and just lied to get me in bed.
  7. Lord, dont let me smell his breath from over here.
  8. Was that a dick print?
  9. He better not order a damn burger, I know  that.
  10. Dammit! I didnt get to see what car he was driving.
  11. Man, I hope no one I knows walks in this restaurant while I’m here.
  12. Am I talking too much?
  13. Hope my lipstick isnt on my teeth.
  14. Damn, nice watch.
  15. He cant even look me in my eyes.
  16. Omg, I cant look at him, he’s looking me right in my eyes.
  17. I hope my cleavage sittin right.
  18. I wonder who else in (inserts city here) he’s dated….hmmm.
  19. What kind of jeans are those? True’s…mmm okay.
  20. I hope he is not a deadbeat dad on any level.
  21. We sorta look good together.
  22. Nah, I can’t be seen with him. Look at them shoes
  23. I wonder if I order a steak will he say …”I’m good. I ate earlier”
  24. Omg, no. Please stop flirting with the waitress.
  25. Is he looking at my butt ?(while walking to the restroom)
  26. I cant WAIT to have sex with him — I’mma chill though.
  27. I’ll never let him touch me. Yuck.
  28. This conversation is like pulling teeth.
  29. Damn, can I get a word in?
  30. I wonder if he takes all his women here.
  31. Oh, sh*t! I know his baby mama. FCK
  32. My mother would love him, but I can’t deal.
  33. He looks like he’d be a minute man. Lightskin too? smh.
  34. Damn, I need sex bad.
  35. If I sex him on the first date, I’d be a hoe though.
  36. Fck it.
  37. Awww, he has dimples.
  38. I wonder why I’ve never seen him out anywhere before.
  39. Oh, he hangs with _______ & _______ Ugh. Hoe alert.
  40. Yep, he wants me.
  41. His arms are cut. Sheesh.
  42. Why is he looking around like that? Paranoid?
  43. If he pay for this meal with cash – he’s a dope boy.
  44. Damn, does he “KNOW” know the waitress or something?
  45. He might be an alcoholic.
  46. Yep, he just wants to fck. Check please.
  47. I dont understand his language. Too much ebonics.
  48. Ugh, I know I shouldnt have dated a younger dude.
  49. Stop undressing me with your eyes!!!
  50. Sike, keep doing it. Cause I am too *sips drink*

Feel free to add on lol

 

xoxo Chakara

7 Reasons Women Never Get Caught Cheating

1 Jun

This is not a bragging piece. I do not condone swapping fluids with the next “outside” man, with a penis in your bed every night. I do not, but women cheat just as much as men do. They do it in a different manner. Much more careful than the male species it seems, and quite frankly women never get caught. Sad, to say though — women cheat just as much if not MORE than men. I have no numbers to spread out on a table for you, but my spidey senses tells me that cheating goes down in the female world. Emotional creatures by nature, we CRAVE, like restless athletes — love and endearment — to quench our souls and stuff. We gotta have attention from the one we’re with. A lot of the time, the mates women choose cannot fulfill that attention for a lifetime — in marriages and longterm relationships.

Fellas, you all know. You start off going so hard like Romeo in the beginning, you capture the one you want, and then when you get comfortable some of your “extra attention” that captured that woman start to deplete. The simple things like sending flowers to work, or surprising her with a gift every now and again begin to bit by bit- disappear. Unfortunately, this opens doors for that C word — CHEATING. Yep.

Now, you take a gorgeous woman — belonging to a man who doesn’t appreciate her — or takes her through the ringer with issues and troubles — and you ask yourself. How many men does she come in contact with on a daily basis? Women are social network queens nowadays — so you ask yourself. How many men attempt to reach out to her on different avenues such as — twitter, Facebook etc. I’m here to tell you the reasons women NEVER get caught cheating. Yep I’m letting the cat out of the bag for my men folks. Simply, because somebody has to school y’all. lol

1.) The man she cheats with KNOWS she is in a relationship from the jump — Yep. Ratchet concept but she will tell him at the very beginning before ANYTHING. Why? Easy. Women cheat but they are AFRAID of problems. Not that they “don’t want” problems — they’re AFRAID of them. We understand that when men “beef” the consequences are normally much heavier than weaves being pulled and scratch marks. She is careful to let him know to respect her relationship status – forming ways to communicate with the man she’s cheating with around her relationship.

2.) She’ll meet him EVERYWHERE else but the places her man would frequent — The library, a bar out of city lines, SKYPE, that sudden trip with the “girlfriends” out the blue, a dark movie theatre that hardly gets business — You get my drift. She’ll be everywhere with him, and you’re NEVER there. Trust me. Places where she wouldn’t be recognized by anyone her man could be associated with. Plus, if her automobile stands out, she’ll park her vehicle somewhere safe and invade his car. Creep mode.

3) His Number Is Not Saved In Her Phone — Nah, its memorized. Maybe its in her text messages and that’s where she’ll reference it to call him, but she’ll NEVER save it. The old “save it under a girl’s name” has been used way to many times. Women upgrade their ways to be sneaky. Now his email might be in her google contacts, but that number isn’t. This lessens the risk of her being caught because any number not saved in her phone can ride with this excuse “I don’t even know this number” if any suspicion was to occur.

4) She’s naturally “nice” or “the same” with everyone she meets — You can’t tell whether the guy who walks by you guys in a store that she pleasantly smiles at is bending her over in his spare time or NOT — because she’s NICE to everybody. You can’t tell what the f+ck is going on. You will remain lost.

5) She will change NOTHING about her daily routine will — Why? Because she will find nooks and crannies in her day to fit in a “cheating episode”. Women keep up with their routine because they expect their MEN to check in with them. So, how can women shout “check in with me each day!” when they’re not abiding by the same principles. You’ll call her on her lunch break and she’ll say “Yeah hunny I’m heading to lunch” and be pulling into a driveway of a residence to do the horizontal polka with some HOT man whose showing her attention at the time. = (

6) The man she is in a relationship with — IS CHEATING himself — Can’t catch her cheating because she’s cheating when your ass is cheating. That explains itself. If you’re knee-deep in some outside vagina — for ONE — she KNOWS this — which is probably why she’s cheating — and for TWO — she’ll use this time “wisely” for her own self pleasure. AND end up right back at the crib before YOU are — in bed watching t.v. like nothing ever happened. = /

7) Most MEN don’t think a woman is cheating on them if she stays the same — attitude wise — She will not argue — accuse you — or any of that if she is being happily satisfied elsewhere. See, women who cheat may have their reasons for staying in a relationship and stepping out. Even though this is something I wouldn’t choose to do — lots of women will. So, as long as she is getting her “emotional comforting fix” elsewhere — she will not worry you with nagging or anything. IN FACT, she’ll be the happiest camper because she’s getting consistent attention + sex elsewhere.

Now these are just a few things tossed out there. But I do want to remind ALL females who cheat — Karma doesn’t have favorites — in her game of duck duck goose — your ass MIGHT be the next goose. So, while I write these secrets — I do not condone cheating. In fact, I think its very harmful and selfish to expose another person to disease because you simply don’t want to be upfront about your feelings. Fellas — use these signs and conduct research in your zotdamn bedroom now. O__O Hopefully I didn’t scare you!

xoxo Chakara

How Certain Music “Showcases” Can Devalue Your Rap Career

16 May

Leave it to me right?

No harm, no foul.

What I have to say can only assist you.

Now look around in your city. Tell me what you see as far as “hip hop artists”. Its a lot of them right? Well imagine this. This huge record label is looking to fill this spot for a HUGE record deal. They want nothing but the best artist to fill this slot.

There is a BIG BUS with a sign on it that reads “GET SIGNED HERE”. You see lots of other artists in your city getting on the bus with their demos in hand. All of them are headed to the same INTERVIEW. Who do you think is going to get the slot? Tough question right? I knooooow. Trust me I KNOW.

Have you ever taken a group of your homeboys with you looking for a job? Have all of you ever walked into Foot Locker and handed  your application in to the same manager? What happened? Nothing right?

SAME SH+T different scenario. Now listen. There are right and wrong ways to go about showcasing your talent.

Lets be clear. We KNOW the idea showcases are aiming for but the fact is, there is no quality boundaries. You’ve been going hard with this rap stuff for years. Sharing a stage with someone who started rapping yesterday could somewhat affect how your audience sees you. It’s not saying that you believe you are better, but it means you actually value a “growing brand”. It means you do not want your career to lay there in its dormant state, and be surpassed with people who havent been going half as long as you have.

Q: Chakara, some of these guys rapping are my “n*ggaz”, we go way back. I can’t knock what they have going on and assume I’m too good.

A. I’ll be damned. NEVER EVER EVER devalue your own talent or plight to being successful to save ANYONE’s feelings. I’m so serious, because this could be the dagger that kills your progress. Hard work should never go unnoticed, even by the person who has put in the hard work; YOU. Just because you will not jump on stage with a “new to the game” indie rapper, does not mean that you are disrespecting his talent. Don’t give people perceptions THAT much power over you. I don’t care if you’ve known them since birth. Dreams come to those who they are intended for. If you’re going to go for your dreams, then go for them 100%. Even if it means separating business and friendships.

Q. Chakara, my homies are the promoters. I look out for my homies. So how can I say no to a promoter whose trying to look out for me, by letting me perform?

A. “Hey breh, thanks for the look out. I’m more focused on growing my brand, getting product into these streets, and managing my network to better myself as an artist than performing in showcases right now. I appreciate the offer, but I’mma have to sit this one out.” <— If he can’t respect anything REMOTELY close to this, he is NOT your homie. Again. Do not wear friendships in place of the respect you have for your music career’s come up. If you want to succeed in something, you have to put it FIRST (before friends, sometimes family, and all other crowd participants you feel an urge to please). 

Now let me explain some sh+t to you about “promoter friends”. These guys have ROLES and agendas as well. What’s the goal of a promoter? To make money right? So, explain to me how you can be fooled into thinking that a “promoter who invites you to perform” is doing you a favor, without doing themselves one? I’ll wait. Now of course if they’re your FRIEND, they probably do want you to be great and perform on stage, BUT intentionally music showcase invites also invite people who will pay at the door. Duh. I’m sure you figured this out.

Now I want to stress “SOME MUSIC SHOWCASING” will hurt careers, not all. Jumping on stage without an ounce of product spinning in the streets/web, is thirstily yelling “I WANT FAME BEFORE THE CAREER”. Its like when I write a chapter of a book I’m extremely excited about, I CRAVE for people to read it. I just want praise; it’s a human desire. I just want someone to tell me “I’m going in the right direction”, but the truth is that draft is “unfinished”. By sending it out too early, I risk having my fan base look at me differently because of quality. Same thing! Same concept!

Work on making your work quality, and getting finished product into the streets FIRST or music showcasing could kill your career. When a prospective agents asks you for numbers, you cannot go and pull promoter door payer numbers and say “100 people came to see me perform on May 7th.” That’s not what they want to hear. They’re talking products sold in the streets, downloads on the web, etc. You can’t be focused on creating those if all you do is “showcase perform” with local artists. You want to flood your city and surrounding cities/states with your product and have your fans CRAVE a concert. It should never be the other way around. Do not FORCE  your performance on a crowd of people who are not familiar with your music. School talent shows for amateurs do this. Do NOT consider yourself an amateur because you are independent; unsigned. Walk , talk, and make decisions like an artist. You are exactly what you believe you are.

You will remain at a local state when you continue to walk, talk, and act local.

No one will believe you are “mainstream artist” worthy if you do not show progress in how you move with your music.

You continue to mix friendships with your plight to music, you will become overwhelmed with trying to meet the feelings of people who will be over it in a day or two.

Take my advice if you will or will not. I do not care. I just know that my state has hella potential, and I don’t want to see careers lie dormant when they really could be soaring toward the stars; with a little more management organization, clearer goal paths, and patience.

Be patient. Your chance to perform in front of large numbers will come. PUT IN WORK NOW — CROWD BUILDINGS LATER.

-bye xoxo

“How Dating A Lazy Broke B+tch Can Save Your Life”

15 May

ImageYep.

Sounds crazy but listen up. I’m only going to tell you this once. Now my mother always told me; in order to find out what you really want in life, you’ll have to experience the things you don’t want. Man, was she right.

In order to hold on to something for a long time, you must truly value and appreciate it. We often let go of things way to early; due to not appreciating it enough. We’ve never experience worse than what we have. So, we’ll end up taking the best thing that happened to us for granted.

Sound like you huh? Its okay. Have you had your share of broke chicks? I mean you know the type. She doesn’t work, but entertained by all things that cost money. She’s gorgeous but her looks cant seem to nail her any steady income. She’s in the club for every single event, fly as ever, with nothing lucrative to return home to. Why? Because that’s what gets her “by”. She enjoys it. You can’t change HER & you can’t change THAT. I mean not until she’s ready.

The “You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” famous saying could partially apply; but we’d need to know her body count to make that assumption. Moving right along.

Now you ask me, “Chakara how can dating a broke lazy b+tch save my life?”

A: Easy. You’ll know how to stay away from these type of females. You will not be easily reeled in by outer beauty and luscious curves. You’ll be able to spot an empty purse from a mile away.

NOW don’t you sit your *ss up her, read this blog and FRONT as if you’ve never dated the chick in need of petty expenses like a “nail fill-in, hair done, light bill paid, or cell phone.” If you’re going to do that, then the EXIT of this post is —> way.

I don’t know about any other race, but my black brothers WORK their butts off (those who actually have self dignity and all that). Most of you guys are working on building a better future, maybe for just yourself or even kids in prior relationships who count on you. Inviting a lazy b+tch into your life could cause you harm, but you must learn from all things that are bad. Do not pass up on opportunity to educate yourself on how these chicks operate.

You date a broke lazy ch+ck, and you find out all of the things that attracted her to you. You CHANGE those things about yourself, and VOILA; what you attract will increase in more pleasant keepers. Women who appreciate your hard work.

1. If all you flash is “bread”, those birds will be there to pick up the crumbs. TRANSLATION: If you are throwing money around as your “self definition”, then you have agreed to allow money to define you and those THIRSTY for it will become magnetically attracted to you. STOP IT.

2. Do not be moved by sexual THIRST of the opposite sex. I said lazy b+tches were broke, but I didn’t say they were dumb. They know exactly how to entice you. You d+ck should never replace the work of your brain. If she offers sex, don’t be an easy picker upper. Play hard to get. The right women will adore this about you. The bird b+tches will form a line, to taste you, ride you, and get what they can from you.

3. Invest in being a man not a boy. Meaning: Act like you want a woman, not a girl. Boys love money. Men understand hard work brings consistent income and longevity. Boys love sex. Men understand that the best sex is with the right woman; drama stress free.

 

I don’t know these are just a few things I tossed out there. We do learn from our mistakes. Being in a lifetime commitment with the wrong woman can kill off everything you worked long and hard for. Learn from these lazy no good women. Take notes. Fix your issues and wait for the bad b+tches to leap forward. I’m not talking about “bad” as in video vixen either. Boys want that. Men understand that a “bad b+tch” has covered all of the fine key points in her life; education, career, family, & self respect.

 

You are welcome! Now tell all of your boys to follow me @KaraPublishes!

 

xoxo

EXACTLY WHY YOU CANNOT DISCREDIT THE “DIRTY SOUTH” MUSIC GENRE

30 Apr

The first rap verse I ever memorized was Rob Base’s “It Takes Two”, beginning at the portion of “I wanna rock right now”.  I probably recited that verse twice everyday and three times on Sunday. Hip Hop had become a major portion in my hard poetic style of creative writing, and I craved it. Only issue was, I was from the south. Womp Womp. I looked on T.V. and only saw the top half of the U.S. represented, and a few west coast artists sprinkled in here and there. RIP TUPAC. I’m not even sure who was actually getting radio spins as a hip hop artist, “from the south” besides OutKast, but the up-top Hip Hop scene definitely had a lead.  So, I’d sit in the two bedroom apartment in the hood that I came up in, imagining all of my favorite MC’s like Rob Base, Chubb Rock, and L.L. Cool walking around living some lavish rap life in the big city of NY. Don’t ask me why. I imagined the fast life, fast cars, huge buildings, and just a bunch of sh*t that I never saw physically. Sad. Kids from the south who grew up in the hood had imagination, but guess what? We barely EVER left the city, nonetheless the block we grew up on.

 

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 I actually couldn’t tell if any credible rappers from the south were making noise in the early 90’s at all, because when looked at T.V. screens, all I saw was NY influenced rap. I was told Hip Hop started out at the park, but where I was from, our parks barely existed. If they did, there wasn’t much playground equipment in any of them to play on. Hey face it; I was raised in Raleigh N.C. C’mon, as a city we’re JUST now starting to grow. So, being able to relate to an artist on a, geographical level, wasn’t readily available right at the start of my love affair with hip hop. All that I had as a child was my imagination, because mainstream wouldn’t present to me that those with country flavored accented artists, who were just like my brothers and cousins. 

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Early 90’s hip hop would soon be intercepted with dance music groups like Miami’s Tag Team “With Whoop There It Is” but damn, where was the “knowledge” in that?  Then, Outkast started to shake the south up a little bit. Three Six Mafia started creeping their way up the charts as well. I remember it like it was yesterday. The funky clothing, Cadillacs and country lyrics got my attention, and I started to release some “finally” frustration.  Miami’s ruthless Trick Daddy brought an incredibly different breed of music, with his rash and straight forward lyricism, drenching in “dirty south” attitude.  I don’t think the world was ready. He went platinum four times and never went on tour. Imagine that, but hey “Trick” was just like the crazy guy in my hood who didn’t care what anyone thought of him. He just displayed himself; corrupt and rude thinking and all. Master P led the largest movement dirty south history, and brought a bunch of dudes with him. Things started to look up for my region as far as being relevant in the rap game. As I looked around my community though, things were falling apart.  Junkies were gaining in number, confused children were turning into dope boys for security and comfort, and women began selling their bodies to get by and get high. Although this scenery was grey and lit with negativity, it STILL was my surroundings. I was a writer in the making. So, all I could paint with words, was what I saw every day. I used die hard situations to produce quality poems and spoken word, by simply observing. “Cell Therapy” by Goodie Mob confirmed that I wasn’t being fooled by my conscience. The same questions Cee-Lo asked in his verse ran through my mind daily.

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Artists and groups like OutKast, Goodie Mob, Master P and Bun B lead the shift in the game. Then all dirty south hell broke loose. Juvenile hit the scene with his tales from one of the most crime infested areas of history in the south, New Orleans. T.I. arrived, crowning himself “The King of the South”, with ghetto influenced tracks that gave the world nothing but street politics; its ups and its downs. I said to myself when Young Jeezy started his “Snowman” movement, NOW THIS is what I see when I walk outside. To me it was never that these artists were glorifying negativity, but they were telling the world exactly “what it was”. The dope game, brick flip goals, and go-hard illegal hustler mentality was exactly what I saw. Was it the loveliest view? Hell no, but it’s what I observed, and through my observing I was able to pinpoint all of the wrong in my community. Seeing rappers like Juvenile tell such vivid stories about the most crucifying Wards, and getting praise and fan base from this told me that I too can be noticed by the world by showing them the things that are not right.

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Do NOT discredit the creation of “dirty south” music. So many came from nothing, and a community that screamed at them daily “you’ll never be anything”.  A lot of us young hip hop craving fans wanted an artist in front of us that we could relate to. The kids above the Mason Dixon line weren’t the only ones worthy of seeing MC’s become great MC’s, who grew up only a block from their school. It’s often said by many of those who miss the NY influenced rap game, that “The Dirty South Music Has No Substance”. Well, how exactly is that concluded? Dirty south rappers had something that no other rapper owned at the time, to me, and that was the idea of “being themselves, having fun, adding personality to their flow, and rhythm”. It’s not easy to catch a beat and ride it with your own creative words, producing and individuality in your sound. Trust me, I tried it. Hell, if it’s that easy, then why can’t some of these rappers screaming “the south watered down music” defeat this “watered down mix of music” and take over?

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Reasonable question right? Sure it is. What makes it watered down? Is it the fact that T.I. keeps his ATL accent prominent in his lyrics, and slowed his dialogue up for the listeners? Do you simply overlook the obvious skill it took Outkast to go into a studio, play around with jazz and old blues used instruments to create music that makes people feel good and reminisce on good times? Does Big KRIT’s heavy community affected political views seem any less correct because he has a Mississippi accent? I think not.

 

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A song is a creation. It’s not the lyrics. It’s not the beat. It’s not even the “accent” of the rapper who creates the song. It’s a combination of things.  Dirty South rap is no easier than a New York rapper who could grace a track, with a beat that had no heavy “baseline”, and spit NY accented words across it. Keeping it a hundred, a lot of the NY verses I remembered in the 90’s could go on any beat, because their rhyming scheme had no “bounce” pattern to it. It was entertaining because of its lyrical content, but not because of the style it was delivered in, to me of course.  Now I can admit, there will always be those artists who I believe suck, from the south and the north.  There aren’t any reasons to name any of them though. They know who they are, but DO NOT discredit the “dirty south” rap genre. The south’s hip hop explosion and current lead even gave producers a whole new world of recognition. You BARELY heard of those behind the scenes of music, back in the 90’s. It was the rappers, their label owners, and that’s it. That’s what I remember. They have given a whole new meaning to “creation of songs”.  If you wanted to check producing credits, you had to buy the album. Maybe the influx of social networks has some contribution to this change as well. Today, the south has shown the rap world the actual personalities behind such heavy knocking beat creations; the Drummer Boys, the Sonny Digitals, etc. Why discredit the south? These rappers definitely switched up the game, but not for once believe that it doesn’t take skill to create the music they create. You can’t discredit them. Look at what they’ve done. Look at where they are.

No matter their sound.

 No matter how slow their speech is.

No matter how they dress.

No matter how they act.

You cannot disqualify a genre of music that has literally snatched the torch and ran laps around other regions for years; consecutively. Just stop it.

Let the south be great.

-Chakara

 

Final Cause Of Death: Female Hip Hop Committed Suicide

2 Apr

It was 1990 when I realized that Hip Hop was my music drug of choice.

There were MC Lytes, Yo-Yos, Queen Latifahs and Lauryn Hills. Women were very present in hip hop, when I was coming up. You couldn’t remix a track without allowing Da Brat to grace a track, or a Fugee performance wasn’t the same without Lauryn Hill jumping out on stage with her vintage hat of choice, swayed to one side. Females in hip hop were very relevant and promininent. I mean I remember gaining my first since of “Respect My Womanhood” from Queen Latifah’s “U.N.I.T.Y.”Image

 Had a boy called me out of my name,  he would have been suckerpunched if not told from his head to his toes. Why? Because back then the female rap game was all about promoting “respect for women”, and I couldn’t be a fan of rappers like Lauryn Hill and not love myself, or check the most disrespectful boy for calling me out of my name.  I often raise my brows and wonder what happened to that? I remember watching award shows and feeling honored that women were receiving awards in the same categories as a men would.

Watching a women do the same things a man could do; even better, gave me a lot of inspiration as a child. I felt unstoppable watching these powerful female MC’s perform. They kept the real female hip hop fan base satisfied. After all, in the nineties it wasn’t about “selling sex” for these females. It was more about demanding respect for the female gender, and letting other people know “Listen, we’re not putting up with any sh*t”.Image

I needed that. Then something happened. It seemed to me that rap labels dominated by men started to push something much more distracting into the presence of female hip hop fanbases; SEX. And I mean, why NOT have a female rapper who can rap and also show her ass for entertainment? The easiest thing right? An influx of more feminine artists began to peak. There were the Lil Kims, Foxy Browns, who began to surface. Screaming “UNITY” amongst other females was beginning to wipe away slowly. ImageAll of the attention placed on “giving women respect” was masked by a sudden wave of “chocolate skin, bare assets, and speaking on situations like sex just like a male would”, in their hip hop projects. Hell, it was a little too contradicting to talk about “respecting women”, with your vagina print showing on an album cover. So with the introduction of certain female artists the final cause of death; Female Hip Hop Murdered Female Hip Hop.

Yep, we did it to ourselves. Once again, this situation proved that women follow the wants and desires of men way too much. We want to be sexy yet bad in their eyes, even if it means ruling out some of our own self respect in the midst of it. You think not? Sure look at the timeline of events. I was growing up in an era at 12 and 13 years old, wanting to be the great writer and artist people like Lauryn Hill was. Nowadays the same age group are destined to be like Nicki Minaj, a self proclaimed plastic surgery made female who claims to be bi-sexual. Where is the “strength” in that?

Female Hip Hop killed itself because the fan base became distracted and more focused on what the male population in hip hop wanted, instead of what WE as women wanted. Rappers influenced by true icons like MC Lyte, Queen Latifah, etc did not just die off on their own. They lacked support. They lost fan base to the needs of men. Women who were too naive to understand that we were playing into a man’s game. They died off because no longer did women want to listen to “being empowered and standing for respect”, but “sucking d*ck and being the freakiest b*tch in the bedroom for good for nothing materialistic men”. That’s why.

Female hip hop committed suicide because labels agreed to unleash females with one common thing on their mind; selling sex. We sold out. We as a female race in hip hop sold out, at something that to do nothing but produce sexual desire for the male fanbase of hip hop. Why put all this time in effort into my actual lyrics when I can get a record deal from having a fat ass, freaky lyrics, and a pretty face? This became the common thought across the board in upcoming female artists. Not to mention the many different men, pumping Koolaid into the hearts of goregous women with Senior Citizen weak bars, by telling them that their looks will make them go far. Instead, short lived rap careers became prominent for females. A few labels picked them up and used them for a short while, then gone. Amil vanished just like she never appeared. Lil Kim’s fan base continuously depletes because the fans have nothing left to grasp for. We’ve seen both tits. I think.

2 shots and we were down for the count. Trying desperately to pump the life back into our sector. I’ll tell you what. It’s going to take a woman with the courage of a giant to resuscitate female hip hop back to its respectable state. I pray one day she arrives.

 

Female Hip Hop Committed Suicide.

 

-Chakara