23 Mar

Still single?

Of course you are. I am too, and I realize that if I don’t change my ways. I’ll stay this way.

Right now. I seriously believe that I live a lifestyle where having an intimate relationship isn’t for me. I actually came up with reasons why I’m single, and reasons why I believe others are single. Can you believe this? LOL I found out issues with myself and I’m sharing them with you all. And this is not to say that you will never be ready for a relationship, but you have to change certain things. Thank me later baby, cause I’m listing a few issues today.

I had to look in the mirror and understand exactly why I’m single, in order to prepare my future for an intimate relationship. I also observed others to see why they may be single as well. This isn’t all me guys, only a few. >_<


Here Goes.

1.) You’re daily routine REJECTS intimacy: You’re like ALWAYS somewhere doing something, with someone besides someone you want to be intimate in. That’s right. You are a workaholic, maybe a single parent. You have really NARROW space for free time. Everything you do on a day to day basis pretty much stays the same, and you are mentally set in that. You don’t see intimacy throughout the week because you’re too busy being super woman, focused on daily tasks and their completion.

2) You’re still dealing with pain caused by prior relationships: Sure, maybe you don’t WEAR bitter woman colors, but you damn sure don’t allow anything to slide. Let’s face it. Men fuck up ALL the time. You see the smallest issue with them and you’re OUT, like a light. Turned off right? Yeah, cause you’re TIRED. Plus, you are still a little hurt, because you’re holding on to past issues and using them to judge the future. You gotta change this around, or you’ll never see the “good” in the potential candidate. You’re blind.

3) You’re a social lite and you’re very outspoken:Hi, how are you? LOL I’m that one. Men are often intimidated by your kind, and they’re always looking for a nook or cranny to slide their “‘interest” in you in. Only issue is, your attitude won’t even allow any room for it. African American men ESPECIALLY, honor their pride, and they won’t let anything bend of fracture that if they can help it. The last thing they want, is to be dissed by such an outspoken and popular person such as you.

4) You love freedom and peace: Does it complete you like it completes me? Coming and going as you please. No curfew on the weekends. Trips taken whenever with whomever. Oh wow, the life right? Well, not the life for a “girlfriend/wife to be”. Your freedom to come and go has become a lifestyle for you. You’re used to nothing else. So, forming a relationship isn’t that highlighted on your “to-do” list.

5) You’re too artificial: A Lot of men who are in that “settle down” mind frame are looking for  natural beauty. Fake hair, fake nails, fake lashes, makeup all read “ARTIFICIAL”. Some men will deal with this, but most men who do are not ready to settle down. Artificial features create “in the moment” attraction. A man who is looking to settle down with a woman will need to see natural traits as well. If you’re honestly looking to transition into a “relationship mind”, you’ll have to become natural in some parts. Maybe keep the weave in but tone down on makeup and eyelashes. Or, instead of weave, try a natural blowout and a solid color you are comfortable with. I can almost guarantee you the guys who approach you will change.

6) You have too many male friends:Damn. That’s screwy right? I mean, damn. I came from a predominately MALE household. So, having a lot of male friends naturally is a barrier for me? Wow. Tough cookie but its true. Guys assume a lot of things about a female when trying to calculate interest in her. One of those things is how many guys she associates herself with. You can forget about trying to explain it using excuses like “I work with him”. “He’s my brother.” All that says to some men is “HOE, PROMSICUITY, ETC.” Save it. You’ll eventually have to drop off a few “male” buddies.

7) You come off being way too needy:Are you whiny? Do you ask for a lot out of the men you just “date”? Always in need of something? Money, date time, phone conversations, even a follow back on a social site? You’re being worrisome as fuck. No man will want that. As a matter of fact, being a gnat is a pet peeve of a man. They need someone much  more relaxed, laid back, and independent. Don’t wear NEEDY. It will get you no where.

and LAST but not least.

8) The company of girlfriends you keep, talk too much: That’s right. Real men don’t like their personal business out in the streets, and if dealing with you will risk that…guess what? They won’t take a chance on you. There is always gossip in your circle. Maybe one of your girlfriends is known to NOT hold water. If he knows of your friends, then he will judge you based on their actions. Most men want grown women to settle down with, not little girls who sit in circles and gossip. Just food for thought.

Those are just some of the things I found to be issues. Maybe you have more? Who knows. Talk to me though. Any thoughts relationship stores issues you want to share? Email me at authorchakara@gmail.com for a chance for your anonymous story to be featured!!

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